Monday, February 20, 2006
startin of with the mornin...i woke up...went into the toliet tu brush my teeth...i started cryin again...stopped cryin...went out of the rm...out of the house...n started cryin again...i was so anxious....there was a glimspe of hope tt mayb u will still b dere waitin for mii tuu come down from the stairs???rushed down...u werent der...on the wae tuu cwp...cried again...den...i saw sum1 who looked alot lyk u...i went closer...it wasnt u...met up with deric...den saw cerlyn...she said my watch was nice...cried again...saw daryl...he n deric tok n tok...smile a lil....saw the sumset over the horizon..cried again...remember tt dae i took your hp n took the pic of the sunset???it wasnt the same todae...n it nv will b...walkled over the bridge...remembered wen u said tt lets exchange phone...i wish we did...walk tuu skool...i reali didnt wanna cry animore...i stopped...i didnt wanna cry...
in skool...tok tuu jidangao...he told mii tt if i feel yk goin..i shld go...how can i go...im onli left with 15 dollars...taxi might nid more den tt...went tuu tok tuu deenah...owe her one more ice cream...kept sayin dun cry...i didnt cry...my tears didnt flow lyk they used tuu...i was totally holdin dem back...a maths period...i tried tuu concentrate on doin my maths file for e maths...budden...i didnt managed tuu do finish...
english lesson...miss hesley tok...den we learn vocab for awhile for the test...i cried again...keehuiming kept ono sayin read vocab also can cry...i told khai...so sad...her story is almost lyk mine???2 years...izzit short or long...
bio..we went up...on the wae...xuanjing kicked my leg...hurt lyk hell...i cried again..lesson time..i stayed happie with a smile on my face...den i saw su zhuang's pencil case....she had an "s" in green colour...i remembered tt time wen i made the letter s for u...
recess...toked alot tuu jianing...her letter made mii cry...bud i cried onli at der part where she said bout u...she didnt reali lyk u..bud she almost cried wen she saw the letter u wrote tuu mii on valentines dae...i read tt letter again..i cried...
mother tongue...i tried holdin back all my tears from xin...in the end...i saw the watch...i cried a lil...tried makin a fool out of myself...i tried tuu laugh...felt i was so fake...i had o choice...
maths period...i couldnt do anitin...the class work sshe gave...i left it aside....i did the self practise...n it was full of tears...how tuu put in file...
assembly...i duno how i cut my leg...one patch there which was red...dey were playin music...i should hv enjoyed dem...budden...in the middle...deenah gave mii the penknife drawin...it said...suicide...the ending tuu everyting???i cried again...i reali wanted tuu cut myself...den mayb u would come n find mii again...i wanted tuu die...
lata..choir...edwin rushed up tuu the sevventh storey...mii,jianing,peiyi,angel,yenshan,zhong rong n sheng ming followed him...rushed up tuu stop him from wad he's gonna do...he was in the ladder..sitting dere..high up...i rushed up....every1 was cryin..expt for sm....he laughed at us...saein how dramiatic we were...i couldnt hold back my tears animore...i cried...jianing tried tuu comfort mii??i duno...i dont wan him tuu go....i kept saein....duno whether the reason for mii is tt i dun wan him tuu go..or tt i c edwin lyk tis den i sad...aniwae...we all cried..budden..i stopped while everyone was cryin..my tears were dry...nth came out...nth at all...angel cried...till she chest pain...sent her tuu sick bay...budden...in the end...nth happened tu her...i managed tuu cry a lil for her...bud nth else came out...
walk home...i sat 966 even wen i said will go with jianing sit 950...cos it was dere alreadi...i reali rushed home....a hope tt u might b dere waitin for mii....i looked over at the taxi stand...u werent dere...i wanna cry....i rushed up the stairs of the block...two outcomes....u r dere...u arent dere...i was disapppointed...i almost cried...bud i couldnt....cos i was scared tt dey will ask wad happen...
two years...i cant imagine wad will b the outcome den...jux tuuu tell u tis...i reali dn tink i can go to ap...forget mii...remember the time wen u asked mii on the phone whether i will miss u wen u go awae???the answer is...i'll miss u...
______dead`roses`living`dead
