[DEAD`LIVING`ROSES]

Thursday, September 29, 2005

I hate moiiself for wad happen...mayb if i jus didnt sae anitin bout tis,didnt tell anione...then it won b ani trouble liaox...jus damn disappointed in angel...she jus ignore mii from recess till end of skool...sigh...wad did i do wrong???miss yuana pulled mii tuu tok on der stairs...then i pulled angel along...i reali needed someone i could rely on..n i hope i can rely on her...i'm jux reali scared n frightened boii tis whole thingy...todae whole first period....i jus cry all der way...one whole hour...am i dumb???i duno why i cant stop cryin...sigh...then i also duno y angel will cry...miss yuana told mii tt she might hv tuu inform moii parents bout tis..i dun wan...if they know then i die...sigh..i reali vry scaerd lorx....wad can i do???i feel so helpless...i cried until moii bag derx strap was totally wet...can see the colour change...sigh...i'm dumb n useless...was reali hapi when der four of us got again tog again...was reali reali reali vry happy...so long...it's been so long...how's your ear sem???why wanna da so mani....jus now i ask moii mum if she would alow mii to da one more anot...then she sae not now bud can lehx...i was damn shock....xia dao...didnt know she would let..bud i dun tink i would ever da one more......seeing it feels totally crazy lorx...so er xin....the whole ear red sia....wa lou...confirm vry pain one lorx.....then summore still remember jianing wanna da one more also..then tell mii tuu da also...i rather spend money on other things tt i don need tuu go through pain barx...tis year had reali been a great ordeal tuu mii lorx..
Back to lwh thingy...i'm damn scared...duno y...bud i jux wanna b around sumone...i can rely on all derx time lorx...tis ish reali shitty lyk wad miss yuana said...i jus feel so shitty bout tis whole thingy...tt i duno how tuu explain it....i showed miss yuana the msg..i could c tt she didnt blieve it was lwh who sent it...u think i can blieve???it's a fact though...it happened onto mii...wad can ii do???ignore him for der rest of moii school dae???i reali jus wanna gib him a tight slap across derx face..miss yuana did gib mii permission tuuu do tt aniwae...sumtimes...when i reali need support...i cant find anione...at sum point,ppl jus seems tuu leave mii...todae...i reali needed sumone...did i act hapi???mayb part...i reali did feel lyk cryin again...bud i held back lorx...there's tis barrier inside mii now...i onli wanna b wib ppl who i know i can trust...i duno who...bud i reali reali reali dun wanna go near tt bian tai again...derrick for example...i know i can trust him...hong hock n dickson...them i can trust tuu....yongliang saw miss yuana tokin wib mii on der staircase,and saw mii cryin lyk hell sia...so pai sei...sighxx....SCARED!!!!!JUX DAMN SCARED!!!!wad tuu do sia...i reali need sumone...sigh...suddenly,i realise tt i am keepin mute bout mani things...i onli told a few bout different....so different ppl know wad moii secrets r...sigh...there's sumone i reali mus comment on lorx....deric....cant blieve he actually tried tuu tok tuu wei hong bout it n confronted him...i jus duno wad tuu do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!it's reali funi...everyone ish tryin tuu help i tink..so sae i hope...bud i jus wanna forget bout wad had happened for this thingy...miss yuana told mii lwh could b charged wib the things he did...i duno...i jux wanna stay away from him..i'm afraid of rumors..i reali am...tis ish so damn frustrating lorx..wad should i do....jus feel so lonely...i'm alone..in moii dream...i'm jus in a corner..ppl walked pass mii n laughed...sae wad...haha...tis gurlx...she was qin fang boii a guyx....i jux sat der cryin!!!!i'm paranoid...i'm afraid i would get mad if i continue thinkin...izzit jus mii???or tt you're nort wib mii animore???

______dead`roses`living`dead