[DEAD`LIVING`ROSES]

Saturday, April 16, 2005

i reali wanna know...why must everyone keep things between themselves...then i cannot know anything...i am quite mad....yesterdae after the history field trip,i was alreadix feeling vry sad....got alot of peeps tell mii tt me n him don even look lik we r steading anyway...i know...and i feel tt maybe tis whole thing is my fault...i regeted guys because of him...why eveytime when i stead wif sumone,then got another sumone come n sae he lik mii or watever...vry fan one lehx...sumtimes,lik the first,i lik another guy...but then how to break the news to the 1?i don lik hurting people...i don wan them to feel hurt...i try my best to do watever i can...but i reali don wanna face another breakage...the time wif deric was enough of mii alreadix...if i had known all these were going to happen,i wouldnt hav stead wif him..i wouldnt even stead wif anyone...i always bring trouble...i caused so much unhappiness...alot of peeps tell mii i should be feeling hourned bcause got guys woo mii...but then so wad?tts the problem...if sumone talks to mii alot,then suddenly sae he lik mii,i reget him,then he jus stop tallking to mii....i feel vry hurt n sad...i'm jus a lousy person...i don know y guys r all lik tis...alot of them sae they don understand mii at all...and in fact,i don wan them to....cause if they do,we''ll nv b perfect...i'm not the type tt liks attention...i wonder why tis kind of things don fall on sumone else...mei xuan also got these kind of things happening to her...i regret nv telling her not to accept any guys....mayb i should wait till i'm out of school before i try to b involved in a relation ship...if i don accpet a guy,the guy may get mad...but tts not the prob...i don mind if sumone hates mii...because i know tt all these things will happen...during school times n wadever..because of deric,mani gurls resulted in hating mii.....because i rejected guys,they resulted in hating mii...i don wanna know their reason of hating mii...okay...guys sae they will wait...but then jus because of tt,am i supposed to break up wif my current stead jus to b wif another guy?so wad if the other guy lik mii?i feel tt i have the right to reject him...but i don know why he acts lik tis...am i reali vry flirt?i don wan to be...but the truth is tt i reali hav mani gorx...n i don wan them to feel left out..i wan them to b happi...i always try to talk to my gorx bcause they sae i nv tell them anything...so wad if i hav mani guy frienx?can't a gurl n a guy b good frienx?i'm reali damn tired of all these things liaox...i don wanna know more...i jus wanna sae i'm sori..other guys jus sae okay...nvm....but why must u go through all these things?jus to hurt yourself n i...u jus keep on teling mii tt u love mii alot... but do u reali expect mii to break wif him...i wan to hav a person who reali know me enough...if u get jealous rit at the start when i play wif the other guys,theni'm sori....the answer is a no way...bye...

______dead`roses`living`dead